Hello and welcome to THIS! My...blog... Yeah it's probably not really gonna be worth mentioning to be completely honest. It's probably gonna be a cluster of pessimism and comments on how I have no idea to identify the birds I can't find, so a slice of life or something. I don't know how often I'm going to be able to update this either, gonna be working off stolen internet for that. (Thanks for the borrowed laptop Nick! Tim, you have failed me for the last time) Besides, having never been out East I don't know if there will be anything worth mentioning except for the exceptional amount of driving I'm going to be doing. So what's there to say?                                        
<- Picture is to compare at end of trip to see my lost innocence.

   Haven't done something like this in years, it didn't make sense to my folks then that I was going to go it alone, and it makes about as much sense to them now. It's kinda hard to explain, short of my friend's all having other commitments from jobs to school, girlfriends and finances there's a really simple explanation. It's really damn difficult to leave with the complications just in my life barring my way without adding another person to the mix. Also I prefer to just have a trip where I'm not bound by time constrictions and just go my own pace and go somewhere I've never been, and if I change my mind on anything I don't need to ask for a second opinion. I haven't meticulously planned my route, meal plans or anything, though that isn't to my parent's liking and I suppose I can understand why.

   We got right into making sure Debb was to speed (that's my CRV for those who are uninformed) and that mostly involved me standing a couple feet from my dad in the sun as he did all the work checking that I hadn't completely ruined my vehicle since the last time we checked the brakes ( B.C Trip - YEARS AGO). Apparently I'm very light on her and the brakes and the tires were in great condition still. This guy even fixed the jammed back door that I had decided to ignore and live with for the past year and a half. I asked him if I he had done it before or if he just takes things apart and troubleshoots, it was the latter. Not to say I didn't do anything, I did some basics, double and triple checked with the torque wrench and all, but my dad has always been the guy who knows his shit. (first blog swear, fuck yeah!)

   My mom wanted some baseline concepts for my trip, which meant I had to actually make some before leaving, looks like she wins this round, though as a result I have tied my selected locations to each other pretty nicely for a well rounded trip. Gonna start off with the six hour ferry because I'm gonna want to get adventuring soon, as my sense of adventure has been imprisoned for years and released on bail for this trip. Gonna get the big hiking and camping out of the way at Gros Morne national park, and I've heard nothing but amazing things of it. From there I make my way further East to all them pretty dots that jump between good birding, hiking, and whale watching and all combinations in between. Then whenever I decide I'm coming back I take the longer ferry home which should last closer to twelve hours giving me some time to rest.

   After much wasted time searching for my I-pod I gave up and had no choice but to reset my itunes library, get a new ipod and download A LOT of music. First buyer took offence to me wanting to know why he was getting rid of it, and responded a minute later saying it had been sold...When three minutes earlier he had it for sale still when I asked. The second was in mint condition with twice the memory and being sold by a cute girl and at the same price, I have no complaints. I gave her songs a final run on the ride home from Pentang, which consisted of party house music and hard rap about dancing slutty and getting laid followed by indie songs about true love. Truly, I will never understand women, though she was a really nice person, even emailed me to see how the I-pod was working out. Think I'll thank her one last time and recommend Matthew Mayfield to her before I seem like too much of a creep.

   All that aside, I visited most of the guys. Feels like a reverse death bed where I go see them instead of them seeing me and they say their goodbyes like I'm gonna die. When I told my sister that I was doing the trip she asked why I didn't tell her earlier so she could have treated me nicer leading up to it. Once again, I will never understand women. My parents also got me this "press this button to let your parents know you aren't dead" device last minute, I'll throw it on the pile of electronics I already don't want to bring and micromanage charging as I'm driving. Though if anyone wants to be added to the email list to see my progress toss a email or text or whatever and I'll get you on.

   It's been awhile since I've bothered to play outside my comfort zone, it makes my parents anxious and its truly not any easier on me. I'm gonna go solo camping consecutive days in a row if things go as planned, something I have never done. I'm mostly accustomed to being alone, but my parent's doubts and concerns  for me echo my own. I feel like I can do great things and be a great person, but don't see how. I can never believe people who try to assure me I'm something better because I don't believe it. Between this trip and when I went to BC is nothing but wasted time. I always see wasted time in missed tasks, the book I didn't write, the album I haven't made, or coming to terms with myself, what the hell to do with my life. I'm asked to put off this trip off days, or completely, but I want to leave now, just so I can feel like I did on the BC trip. When I had some pride in myself for doing something that wasn't easy but felt like my place in the world, and that brief moment when I thought I had things figured out. I hope I can feel that way again.

                                              I suppose that's the real reason I have to go alone